Monthly Archives: January 2014

Should Girls Go to College?

Most parents today are encouraging their daughters to go to college. In 2012, 71.3% of young women went straight from H.S. To college.

This is probably a major mistake for many reasons. I’ll list a few.

Should Anyone?

First of all, the “going to college is a good investment” paradigm is pretty much over. I’ve noticed on a number of websites (written by women) that the BA degree is being referred to as a “Barista of Arts.” A high percentage of new college graduates are only being offered jobs for which they are “over-qualified.” That’s when they can find jobs. The real question for most young people today is, “should anyone go to college?”

If you have political ambitions then, by all means, go to college and law school. You’ll need that credential to be one of the ruling elite. College might also be for you if you have a talent for engineering, accounting, nursing, etc. Practical stuff. For everyone else, both boys and girls, college is probably not the best choice.

But coeds have problems all their own, ones they don’t share with the guys.

Money and Debt

If a girl wants to get married and start a family while she’s still young then college may be a complete waste of resources. For many women the arrival of children marks the end of her professional career. By the time she reenters the job market her degree and skills may be out of date.

That same girl will have a problem if she accumulates a large debt. First of all, it makes her less attractive for marriage. Honestly, what young man wouldn’t prefer a bride who doesn’t bring $30,000 (or more) of debt to the wedding? After the wedding, that same debt will force the young couple to delay having children – probably for a lot longer than they would like.

Career Women With Children

A career woman, just like a man, must work long hours and be dedicated to her profession. Pay raises and promotions depend on it. The average career woman with children, however, will decide to dedicate less time to her job and more to her family. She will fall behind her male peers – which will not make her happy.

Studies also indicate that a career woman is often extremely unhappy at having to leave her children every day. Her children may grow up thinking of their primary caregiver as “mom.” It’s kind of like putting the kids in foster care – and we’ve all heard stories about how well that turns out.

But Wait, There’s More!

So much for the minor objections. Now for the major problem concerning young ladies attending college away from home. It would still exist even if college were free and money grew on trees. This problem is an over-inflation of self-esteem. Yes, there is such a thing as too much self-esteem. It tends to cause young women to overestimate their value as marriage partners.

Boys and Girls and Intercourse

What happens when you toss a bunch of hormone driven boys and girls into an unsupervised environment? That really depends on social expectations. Historians have noted that back in colonial days the majority of first babies were born less than nine months after the wedding. The “problem” was ignored because there was a wedding. Both boys and girls back then understood that a pregnancy equaled a wedding. And they didn’t have birth-control.

Today we don’t have these restraints on behavior. Children are also raised with no real understanding of the differences between men and women. Boys and girls are propagandized from a very young age to believe that there is no difference between the male and the female. “Gender is a social construct.”

By the time youngsters reach high school they are in an Orwellian state of being able to believe two completely contradictory things at the same time. They know (they have eyes) that boys and girls are different. But they also believe the propaganda that boys and girls are the same. The second thought isn’t so much intellectual as emotional – they feel it should be true.

The facts, however, point to a major difference between the sexes – one that modern society ignores or denies. Warning! At this point feminists should put their fingers in their ears and start chanting, “I can’t hear you!”

The Sexes Choose Differently

Simply put, men tend to be polygamous and women tend to be hypergamous. Boys generally go for quantity and variety in sexual partners. Girls, on the other hand, tend to go for the “highest quality” men they can find.

Many guys will engage in hookups with any girl that meets their minimal standard for good looks (if they’ve been drinking, their standards get lower). They don’t care about social status, wealth, intelligence, or even personality. If she puts out, he’s in. They think of it all as just natural good fun. Because of their lifetime of indoctrination they expect that the girls see things the same way.

A girl who participates in the hookup culture sees things quite differently. She will only say “yes” to certain boys – those who project the appearance of being worthy of marriage. She thinks, consciously or not, that the one night stand is an indication that the boy sees her as marriage material. She’s been taught to believe that “boys and girls are the same.” The captain of the football team must have chosen her on the same basis that she chose him.

It’s been demonstrated that the hookup culture is psychologically damaging to both girls and boys. But it’s worse for girls. Not only do they suffer heartache and disappointment, but they are left with an over-inflated idea of the type of man they should be able to marry. Intercourse, especially in a long-term relationship, may also lead to serious future bonding issues. For both men and women, but especially women.

“But,” you might say, “I am [My daughter is] a good Christian girl. I [She] would never engage in the hookup culture.”

That may well be – I don’t know you or your daughter. I’m sure that Katy Perry’s parents had no qualms about tossing their good little Christian girl in among the bad boy wolves. Just saying.

Indoctrination and Social Pressure

There are a couple of factors working against the new coed on every college campus. Including the so-called Christian ones.

The entire campus culture – especially as promulgated by the professors and instructors – tells her that morality is for chumps. Everything is relative. Christianity is nothing but a religion made up by old white men to suppress women. It’s okay for women to “use” men in the same way that men “use” women. Of course, it won’t be presented this blatantly. It’s subtle, very subtle. “Did God really say…”

In addition, women tend to need a female social network and want to achieve status within it. A teenager away from home and friends for the first time is especially vulnerable. The quickest way to gain high female status is to attract a high-quality boyfriend. Unfortunately, at most college campuses the girls greatly outnumber the boys. To put it bluntly, the only way for a girl to have a chance of landing a good boyfriend is to say “yes.” That’s just the way it is.

The Curse of High Expectations

So the poor young woman graduates from college and bounces from relationship to relationship (practice marriages – practice divorces) for five or ten years. She never seems to find the “perfect” man. She labors under the delusion that her marriage value is equal to that of the highest status male she’s ever slept with. Even though his suitability is probably mostly in her imagination.

Suddenly she realizes that her biological clock is ticking. Time to find a husband. Marriage-minded men, however, place a high value on youth. The not-so-young woman suddenly realizes that her pool of available suitors has shrunk considerably.

Finally, she “settles” for whatever man will have her – and regrets it for the rest of her life. Or until she divorces him. Because, really, “he’s not good enough for her.”

Even worse off are the women who leave it too late. Their feminist mentors convinced them that they could have it all. They become career women who don’t marry until their late 30s or early 40s. And discover that they can no longer have children.

Note to ladies: feminist women aren’t trying to help you – their goal is to screw up your life as badly as they’ve screwed up their own.

In Conclusion – Get That Degree!

Hah! Didn’t see that one coming, did you? To be honest – I didn’t see it either when I started this post.

The beginnings of a revolution in University education are just starting to be seen. A lot of very bright and very practical people foresee an entirely new paradigm. And it’s coming soon. Internet universities will allow people to get accredited degrees from top quality schools from home. At a very reasonable price. MIT has already put all of its lecture classes online. For free.

If you’re a young lady who wants to make marriage and family the foundation of your future (rather than an afterthought), this is very good news. You don’t have to go to college and rack up debt. Find a hard-working young man with lots of potential and marry him. Help him settle into his career and get started towards his lifetime goals. Be sure to live as frugally as possible so you don’t put a strain on your relationship. Then, start your family while you’re still young, full of energy, and in peak health. You want to enjoy your youngsters! Side note: you also want your parents to enjoy their grandchildren while they’re still young enough to do so.

By the time the oldest is ready for school (and I do mean homeschool), Internet U will be up and running. You can work on your degree at whatever pace is comfortable for you and your family. By the time you’re ready to reenter the workforce – full or part-time – you can have an up-to-date degree in any subject you want.

And think how much it will inspire your children. “Look Billy, mommy is going to school, too! It must be important to study.”

Why Division?

Many decades ago two high school juniors, my best friend and I, went to a Unitarian Universalist church. We sat and watched and listened to the Sunday performance. After a while I whispered to Herb, “this is pretty weird shit.”

“I’m going to reserve judgment until they bring out the snake charmers,” Herb said.

The next act was performed by two young men – one reading a poem while the other balanced a plate on top of a broomstick on top of his forehead. Herb looked at me and raised one eyebrow. He could do a heck of a Mr. Spock impersonation.

We were two young men searching for truth. Herb had been raised atheist-Jewish while my family was strict Roman Catholic. We had attended Baptist, Methodist, and Presbyterian churches before stumbling upon the UUs. We kept looking. We went to various Bible studies and even Wednesday night prayer meetings.

One thing really bothered us – all of these churches claimed to be working from the same handbook, the Bible. Yet they had wildly different philosophies. Why are there so many  “Christian” denominations? They can’t all be right, can they?

It took a couple of years before I saw why the Christian church is so divided. In the meanwhile I was attempting to approach the Bible, the Word of God, with some humility.

One man stands out from those years; he absolutely believed that the Bible (as originally written) contains no contradictions. He taught me something that has stayed with me over the decades. He said that the vast majority of the verses in the Bible are very clear – they are easy to read and understand. He encouraged me to concentrate only on those at first. Once I had them firmly in mind I could look at the more difficult verses – always remembering that they couldn’t contradict the clear ones. Context, he emphasized, was also extremely important.

I realized that the denominations were taking the exact opposite approach. They were giving lip service to the majority of the Bible while concentrating on the less clear verses. And often taking them out of context. Each denomination – even each preacher – could have its own “brand” by interpreting these verses in different ways.

Why do this? It isn’t an effective way to bring the blessings of the gospel to the people. It seemed to me that it was intended to cater to people’s prejudices – to bring in as many bodies (and dollars) as possible. The preachers didn’t seem to care whether those people were, or ever became, Christians. (I also have serious doubts about the spiritual status of many preachers.)

These “Christian leaders” were not interested in the accuracy and integrity of the Bible. They were interested in a secure paycheck and in their egos.

That’s why I still read and research the Bible for myself, and refuse to reflexively believe what “everybody knows.” “Everybody” is frequently wrong.

The Bachelor Party

Yesterday I went to a bachelor party. I got to thinking about it – what’s the point? Do other cultures have bachelor parties? Why?

The one I attended was simply an excuse for a bunch of guys to get together. We ate barbecue, had a couple beers, and smoked cigars. Some guys watched the game on the TV but most of us just talked about general guy stuff. I think calling it a bachelor party was merely a gentle way for the guys to say, “no girls allowed.”

I’ve been to other bachelor parties that were about booze, strippers, and sexual humor. What was the point there? Was it supposed to be a last hurrah for the engaged man? A reminder of the things he’s going to have to give up? Or is it simply the only way most guys can get their wives’ permission to it go to a raunchy party?

I could understand its purpose if it were a rite of passage. You know, the old guys get together with the younger ones and share some of their wisdom. Taking a wife is a big deal – a huge change in one’s life. During the weeks and months leading up to the wedding the multitude of preparations can be rather distracting for the groom. The bachelor party could Help him focus on what his real job is going to be, post wedding. Of course, this rite of passage would still have to include beer, barbecue, and cigars.

So I’m still unclear. What social purpose is currently served by the bachelor party?